Do you know someone, maybe very intimately, that seems to always have drama in his/her life? Once one thing is settled, something else pops up. There’s always something!

Some people are addicted to drama. Without their story, they believe they are nothing. Their lives are emotional roller coasters, going up and down. When they’re up, they are really up and living large, and when they’re down, they’re really in the dumps.

I used to be addicted to drama. Yes, I was a drama addict! And by drama, I mean intense highs and intense lows. Everything was so dramatic! It was like theatre. I thought I could be manic!

In fact, at the time, monks or others that seemed to be non-reactionary and peaceful seemed boring! For me, being middle ground and non-reactionary seemed like death. For the longest time, I didn’t want to experience inner peace because I felt like if I gave up the drama, I would also have to give up the intense highs that were also part of the experience.

I had an attachment to the drama. The highs were so high that I wasn’t willing to give them up to not experience the lows, even though the lows were really low.

Yet, as with any addiction, there comes a breaking point. After constant struggling in my relationships and finances, I decided I had enough! I just wanted the constant struggle to stop. I wanted the lows to end.

I was reading a book, Healing with the Angels, by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. about summoning your angels.

Anyway, I was desperate. I was tired of struggling. So I did an exercise where I just asked a question and let my angels (or higher self or intuition) provide the answer.

Here is what happened: (My questions are printed in regular print and the answers from my inner voice are in italics).

ME: It seems I’m always struggling. Getting into a panic about how I will
pay rent; how I will pay my bills.

INTUITION: Yes, this seems to be a pattern. Do you like the drama of struggling?

ME: Hmm. Yes, there is drama in struggling. It’s never boring…Okay, maybe I do create my own drama, but I don’t want to live this way anymore.

INTUITION: Keep claiming that. Refuse to live month to month. Accept your abundance.

ME: How?

INTUITION: Know you are worthy of abundance. You desire money to sustain you in doing what you love. Claim your abundance. Know your worth.

ME: But what should I do?

INTUITION: You don’t have to do anything other than what you are doing. Just continue what you are doing with your writing. Be active, don’t let the circumstances of life paralyze you and put you into a victim mode so that you can’t do anything…

This was interesting because this had also been a recurring pattern in my life experience. I’d get so sucked into fear and worry at times, that I couldn’t do anything, often for days.

But why would I be addicted to feeling down and out and struggling?

I remember a saying from a Course in Miracles that said something like; whenever you’re feeling sad, depressed or angry, you must believe that the particular emotion “buys” you something.

What would being down and out buy me? What would struggling buy me?
Well, my drama bought me sympathy. When I was down in the dumps my friends would remind me of how wonderful I am!

My drama bought me acknowledgement. When I was experiencing a high from a success I would let people know about it and they would give me praise. My drama bought me appreciation, and it bought me sympathy as well. No wonder I was addicted to it!

I mentioned earlier that all my previous relationships were very dramatic with intense highs and really intense lows. Unfortunately, the lows were really bad. Some would call these types of relationships “love/hate relationships” because they oscillated between two extremes. However, this is not true love because true love has no opposite.

In fact, I thought a healthy, stable relationship seemed boring. And I know that many young women feel this way as well. Thus the phrase, “nice guys finish last.”

My husband is one of the nicest men you’ll ever meet. We have a wonderful relationship that just flows. We rarely argue, although we do have our disagreements. Our relationship isn’t a love/hate relationship. Our relationship is loving and supportive. There’s a sense of just flowing with the current.

Once I gave up my addiction to drama, first by recognizing it, I was able to create circumstances that didn’t involve drama. Once I gave up my addiction to drama, I didn’t have to search for relationships or circumstances that brought drama.

If you are addicted to drama, ask yourself what the drama buys you? Allow the answer to come up without forcing it. Or you can ask yourself, “how has this drama served you?” Again, allow the answer to unfold.

Once you receive an answer, ask yourself how you can get that love and appreciation in other ways? For example, if your answer was that your drama serves you because it makes you feel appreciated, how can you feel appreciated in other ways?

Or, if your answer was that you are addicted to drama because you feel that a part of you will be lost if you give up the intense highs, ask yourself how it would feel like to give up the intense lows? And, what if you could find a middle ground and still experience great joy?

Just realizing that I was addicted to drama helped me move from drama to middle ground. And I can tell you that I haven’t lost myself, but gained a deeper awareness of my true self. And I experience a consistent joy in my life situation.

*Excerpted from All I Ever Really Needed to know about Life, I learned from a Rubber band

Lisa Hepner is the author of All I Ever Really Needed to Know about Life, I Learned from a Rubber band. More info: www.lessonsfromarubberband.com She is also the author/compiler of Peaceful Earth: Spiritual Perspectives on Inner Peace and World Peace. She is the recipient of the 2006 Religious Science International Peace Award.